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Reasons Why a Christmas Tree
Is Better Than a Woman”
A Christmas tree doesn’t
care how many other Christmas trees you have
had in the past.
A Christmas tree doesn’t
care if you have an artificial one in the
closet.
When you are done with a
Christmas tree you can throw it in the
garbage.
A Christmas tree doesn’t get
jealous around other Christmas trees.
A Christmas tree doesn’t
care if you watch football all day.
A Christmas tree doesn’t get
mad if you tie it up and throw it in the
back of your pickup truck.
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Motive pentru care pomul de
Craciun este mai bun ca o femeie:
Unui pom de Craciun nu-i
pasa cati alti pomi de Craciun ai avut in
trecut.
Unui pom de Craciun nu-i
pasa daca ai un pom artificial in dulap.
Cand ai terminat cu pomul de Craciun, poti
sa-l arunci la gunoi.
Un pom de Craciun nu devine
gelos in preajam altor pomi.
Unui pom de Craciun nu-i
pasa ca te uiti la fotbal toata ziua.
Un pom de Craciun nu se
supara daca il legi si il arunci in spatele
camionetei.
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How are men like toilets?
They’re either taken, or full of crap!
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De ce se aseamana barbatii
cu toaletele?
Ori sunt ocupati, ori sunt
plini de rahat!
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Why do black widow spiders
kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts!
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De ce paianjenul Vaduva
Neagra isi omoara partenerul dupa
imperechere?
Ca sa opreasca sforaitul
inainte de a incepe.
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A man with no ears is trying
to find a new reporter for their news show.
The first candidate walks in, and the boss
says, “This job requires you to notice a lot
of details. What is one thing you notice
about me?” The guy says, “Well dang! You
don’t have any ears man!” So the boss yells,
“Get out!” The second candidate comes in,
and the boss says, “This job requires you to
notice a lot of details. What is something
you notice about me?” The guy says, “That’s
easy, you got no ears!” So the boss yells,
“Get out!” As the second candidate leaves he
sees the third candidate about to go in and
says, “The boss has no ears so don’t say
anything about them, cause he is really
sensitive about it.” So the third candidate
goes in and the boss says, “This job
requires you to notice a lot of details.
What do you notice about me?” The guy says,
“You’re wearing contacts.” And the boss
says, “Very good, how did you know?” The guy
replies, “Well you can’t wear glasses cause
you DON’T have ears.
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Un barbat fara urechi
incearca sa gaseasca un nou reporter pt noua
lui emisiune. Primul candidat intra la
interviu, iar seful ii spune: Acest job
necesita ca tu sa sesizezi multe detalii.
Care este singurul detaliu pe care il
remarci la mine? Tipul raspunde: Ei dracie!
Omule tu nu ai urechi deloc!! Asa ca seful
striga: Afara! Al doilea candidat intra, si
seful spuse: Acest job necesita ca tu sa
sesizezi multe detalii. Care este singurul
detaliu pe care il remarci la mine? Tipul
raspunde: Asta-i usor! Nu aveti urechi! Asa
ca seful striga: Afara! In timp ce al doilea
candidat pleaca, il vede pe cel de-al
treilea intrand si ii spuse: Seful nu are
urechi, asa ca nu-i spune nimic legat de
asta, este foarte sensibil la acest capitol.
Astfel ca cel de-al treilea candidat intra
si seful ii spuse: Acest job necesita ca tu
sa sesizezi multe detalii. Ce remarci la
mine? Tipul raspunde: Purtati lentile de
contact. Iar seful spuse: Foarte bine, cum
ti-ai dat seama? Tipul raspunde: Pai, nu
puteti purta ochelari deoarece NU AVETI
urechi!!
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