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Traducere

A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat. “This year,” she says, “I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and dad shop for me.” The daughter nods in agreement. “And I think this fur coat would be perfect too.” The daughter protests, “But mom, some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this.” “Don’t worry honey,” says the mother, “your father won’t get the bill for a couple of weeks.”

O mama si fiica ei faceau cumparaturi in mall, cand mama pune ochii pe un palton de blana. Anul acesta, spuse ea, cred ca o sa-mi cumpar singura cadoul, in loc sa va pun pe voi sa-mi cumparati ceva. Fata da din cap in sens ca este de acord. Si cred ca acest palton de blana este potrivit. Fata protesteaza: Dar mama, un animal neajutorat si amarat a trebuit sa sufere ca tu sa ai asta. Nu te necaji draga, spuse mama, tatal tau nu va primi nota de plata decat peste doua saptamani.

A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, “Do you have any small notebooks?”“Sorry,” says the manager. “We’re all out.”The woman shrugs, and asks, “Well, do you have any mechanical pencils?”“Nope, don’t have that either,” says the manager.The woman feels her stomach rumbling and asks, “Do you have Doritos? Nachos?”The manager shrugs, “Sorry.”“Hmmph. How about Chapstick?” says the woman.“Nope. Don’t have that.”“Well” the woman says, “If you don’t have anything, why don’t you close the store?”The manager says, “Can’t. Don’t have the key.” 

O femeie intra intr-un magazin de obiecte de uz practic. Merge direct la director si spune: Aveti agende de dimensiuni mai mici? Imi pare rau, spuse directorul: Am ramas fara. Femeia se scutura putin si intreba: Ei bine, aveti creioane mecanice? Nu, nici de acelea nu avem, spuse directorul. Femeia isi simte stomacul chioraind si intreaba: Aveti Doritos? Nachos? Managerul raspunde: Imi pare rau. Hmmmmm, dar un baton de ciocolata? Intreba femeia. Nu. Nu avem nici din acela. Ei bine, spuse femeia: Daca nu aveti nimic, de ce nu inchideti magazinul? Managerul spune: Nu putem. Nu avem cheie.

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”“Why?”“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.

Intr-un hipermarket, un barbat se apropie de o femeie foarte frumoasa si o intreaba: Stiti, mi-am pierdut sotia aici in supermarket. Puteti sa discutati cu mine pentru cateva minute? De ce? Pentru ca de fiecare data cand discut cu o femeie frumoasa, nevasta-mea apare ca din senin.

It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store’s opening time, in front of the store.A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man’s second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line…“That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won’t open the store!

Era ziua marilor reduceri. Zvonurile legate de reduceri (si niste publicitate in ziarul local) au facut ca la ora deschiderii, 8:30 sa se formeze o coada imensa in fata magzinului. Un barbat micut isi facea loc catre inceputul randului, numai ca era impins inapoi, impreuna cu injuraturi galagioase. La a doua incercare a omului, a fost lovit cu pumnul fix in maxilar, batucit putin si apoi aruncat din nou la coada randului. Ridicandu-se de pe jos a doua oara, ii spuse persoanei de langa el: Pana aici!! Daca ma mai lovesc inca o data, nu voi mai deschide magazinul!

A man walks into a jewelry store to buy his girlfriend an engagement ring. Looking behind the glass case, he comes across an exquisite band with a handsome-sized rock in its center. “Excuse me sir,” the gentleman says to the salesman. “How much is this ring?”“Ah, that's a beautiful piece,” the salesman replies. “It goes for $10,000.”“My God!” the man exclaimed. “That's a lot of money!”“Yes, but a diamond is forever.”“Perhaps,” the gentleman replied, “but my marriage won't last that long!

Un barbat intra intr-un magazin de bijuterii sa-i cumpere prietenei sale un inel de logodna. Se uita la modele si da peste un inel cu o piatra considerabil de mare . Ma scuzati, spuse gentlemanul vanzatorului: Cat costa acest inel? Ah, acela este un model foarte frumos, raspunse vanzatorul. Este 10.000 de dolari. Dumnezeule! Exclama barbatul!O caruta de bani! Da, dar un diamant este pt totdeauna. Probabil, raspunse gentleman-ul , dar casnicia mea nu va dura atat!

A woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale, and said to her, "My husband is going to be very angry I stopped at a yard sale.""I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains you found," her friend replied."Normally, yes," she said. "But he just broke his leg, and he's waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set.

O femeie cauta prin toate lucrurile scoase la vanzare de o prietena de-a sa, si ii spuse: Sotul meu va fi foarte nervos ca m-am oprit la o vanzare de lucruri folosite. Sunt sigura ca va intelege cand ii vei spune cate lucruri frumoase ai luat si la ce pret, raspunse prietena sa. In mod normal da, dar tocmai ce si-a rupt piciorul si ma astepta sa-l duc la spital sa i-l puna in ghips.

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, “I’ll be 16 tomorrow.”“I know,” said the butcher with a smile, “I’ve been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she’ll get, and watch the expression on her face.”When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, “Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!”

Acum multi ani in urma, o femeie cu un bebelus in brate intra in macelaria unde isi facea cumparaturile si ii spuse macelarului ca este copilul lui, si ce are de gand sa faca? In cele din urma el se oferi sa-i dea carne gratuita pana cand copilul va implini varsta de 16 ani. Ea a fost de acord. El numara anii care treceau pe un calendar, pana cand intr-o zi baiatul care lua in fiecare saptamana carnea ii spuse: Voi implini 16 ani maine. Stiu, spuse macelarul zambind. Si eu numar, spune-i mamei tale, cand ii duci bucata asta de carne, ca este ultima bucata gratuita pe care o va primi si vezi ce mutra va face. Cand baiatul ajunse acasa, ii spuse mamei. Femeia dadu din cap si spuse: Fiule, du-te inapoi la macelar si spune-i ca am avut parte de paine gratis, lapte gratis si alimente, tot gratis in ultimii 16 ani si vezi ce mutra face el atunci!