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Fella goes into his favorite deli where the waiter immediately brings him a bowl of chiken soup. The customer signals the waiter to come back.

"Taste the soup!" he commands.

"Why?" inquires the surprised waiter.

"Taste the soup!" comes the reply.

"Max, you've been coming in here every day for ten years. There's never been anything wrong with the soup."

"Taste the soup!"

"What's wrong, too much salt--not enough salt?"

"TASTE THE SOUP!"

The waiter finally agrees, "All right all right, I'll taste the soup! Where's the spoon?"

"A-HA!" chortles Max.

Fella merge la restaurantul sau preferat, chelnerul ii aduce imediat un bol cu supa de pui. Clientul ii face semn chelnerului sa se intoarca.

Gusta supa, ii comanda el.

De ce? Intreaba surprins chelnerul.

Gusta supa, spune din nou.

Max, vii aici in fiecare zi de zece ani incoace. Nu a fost niciodata ceva in neregula cu supa.

Gusta supa!!

Care-i problema? Prea multa sare – nesarata?

GUSTA SUPA!!!

In cele din urma chelnerul accepta sa guste. Bine, o voi gusta! Unde-i lingura??

A-Ha ...chicoteste Max.

When Ole quit farming, he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in his new little town of Catholics. That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbequing beef every Friday. Since they couldn't eat meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them. Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole. "Ole," they said, "since you are the only Lutheran in this whole town and there's not a Lutheran church for many miles, we think you should join our church and become a Catholic." Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. Ole talked to the priest, and they arranged it.

The big day came and the priest had Ole kneel. He put his hand on Ole's head and said, "Ole, you were born a Lutheran, you were raised a Lutheran, and now," he said as he sprinkled some incense over Ole's head, "now you are a Catholic!"

Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy. But the following Friday evening at suppertime, there was again the aroma of grilled beef coming from Ole's yard. The neighbors went to talk to him about this and as they approached the fence, they heard Ole saying to the steak: "You were born a beef, you were raised a beef", and as he sprinkled salt over the meat he said, "and NOW you are a FISH!"

Cand Ole a renuntat la agricultura, descoperi ca el era singurul Luteran in noul sau orasel de catolici. Era ok, dar vecinii aveau o problema cu carnea de vita pe care o facea la gratar in fiecare vineri. Din vreme ce ei nu puteau manca vineri carne, aroma ii tenta la maxim. Sperand ca vor face cumva sa opreasca asta, s-au strans  si au mers sa discute cu Ole.Ole, au spus ei, din vreme ce esti singurul luteran din acest oras, si nu este nicio biserica luterana pe o raza de foarte multe mile, credem ca ar trebui sa te alaturi bisericii noastre, si sa devi catolic. Ole reflecta pt un minut, si se gandi ca probabil au dreptate. Ole vorbi cu preotul si aranjasera tot. Ziua cea mare sosi si preotul il ingenunchie pe Ole. Isi puse mana pe capul lui Ole si spuse: Ole, te-ai nascut luteran, ai fost crescut ca si un luteran, si acum, spuse in timp ce imprastie tamaie pe capul lui Ole, acum esti catolic! Ole era fericit si la fel si veinii. Dar in vinerea urmatoare, seara, la cina, era din nou aroma de carne de vita, facuta la gratar, ce venea din curtea lui Ole. Vecinii au mers sa discute cu el despre asta si in timp ce se apropiau de gard, l-au auzit pe Ole spunandu-i fripturii: Te-ai nascut vita, ai fost crescuta ca si o vita, si in timp ce arunca sare peste carne continua: si ACUM esti PESTE!!

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples".

Copiii erau aliniati la bufetul unei scoli elementare catolice, pt a lua pranzul. In capul mesei era o stiva mare de mere. Calugarita a scris un bilet si l-a lipit de tavita unde erau merele. Ia numai unul. D-zeu te priveste! Mergand mai departe, la celalalt capat al mesei, era o stiva mare de prajiturele de ciocolata. Un copil ii sopti celuilalt: Ia cate vrei. D-zeu vegheaza merele!!

A guy had told all of his friends about the great steak he'd eaten downtown the day before. A group of them decided to head down and see if it was really as large and delicious as he was making it out to be.The group was seated in the back of the restaurant. After looking over the menu, they ordered and waited, hungrily, for their large, delicious, gigantic steaks.To their collective disappointment, the waiter brought out some of the smallest steaks they'd ever seen."Now see here," the very embarrassed guy said to the waiter. "Yesterday, when I came down here you served me a big, juicy steak. Today, though, when I have my friends with me, you serve tiny steaks! What is the meaning of this?""Yes, sir," replied the waiter, "yesterday you were sitting by the window."

 Un tip le spuse tuturor prietenilor ce friptura minunata mancase in centru, ziua trecuta. Cativa  dintre prietenii lui, s-au decis sa mearga in centru si sa vada daca friptura e chiar asa de mare si de delicioasa, cum le spuse el.Grupul se aseza in spatele restaurantului. Dupa ce au consultat meniul, au comandat, si au asteptat infometati fripturile mari, delicioase si gigantice. Spre marea lor dezamagire colectiva, chelnerul le aduse cele mai mici fripturi pe care le vazura vreodata. Fi atent, spuse cel mai rusinat dintre toti, chelnerului. Ieri, cand am venit aici , mi-ai adus o friptura mare si zemoasa. Astazi, cu toate ca imi aduc prietenii cu mine,  ne aduci fripturi mititele. Ce inseamna asta?  Da, d-le raspunse chelnerul.Ieri stateati langa geam.!!!

During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope delcined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is... that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account !

In timpul discursului Papei, un om de afaceri se apropie de acesta si ii facu urmatoarea oferta: Schimba versul din rugaciunea lui D-zeu”painea noastra ce-a de toate zilele, da-ne-o noua astazi” in „puiul nostru cel de toate zilele, da-ni-l noua stazi” si KFC va dona 10 milioane de dolari in activitatile catolice de caritate. Papa il refuza. Peste doua saptamani, omul il abordeaza din nou pe Papa. De data aceata vine cu o oferta de 50 milioane de dolari. Si din nou Papa il refuza. Peste o luna, omul ii ofera 100 milioane de dolari, si de data aceasta Papa accepta.La intalnirea cu cardinalii, Papa isi anunta decizia luata , in formatul „am o veste buna si una rea.” Vestea buna este ca ...avem 100 milioane pt actiuni caritabile. Vestea proasta este ca am pierdut contul Painea magica !!