Engleza

Traducere

A lieutenant was brilliant in military matters, but lacked a few social graces. One day he called a soldier in to the office and said "Kramer, your grandmother died." The soldier fell apart. After he left, the colonel told the lieutenant, "You could have been a little more tactful. I have some books at home that could help you." The lieutenant read the half-dozen books lent him by the colonel and was ready for the next crisis. Private Taylor's grandfather had passsed away. The next morning, at reveille, the lieutenant said, "Men, how many of you have a grandfather still living? Not so fast, Private Taylor!"

Un locotenent era foarte priceput in ale militariei, dar ii lipseau unele calitati legate de comunicare. Intr-o zi chema un soldat in biroul sau si ii spuse: Kramer, bunica ta a murit! Soldatul era terminat. Dupa ce pleca, colonelul ii spuse locotenentului: Puteai sa ii spui cu mai multa tact. Am niste carti acasa care te-ar putea ajuta. Locotenentul citi jumatate din duzina de cartii pe care i le imprumuta colonelul, fiind pregatit pentru urmatoarea criza. Bunicul soldatului Taylor muri. In dimineata urmatoare, la desteptare, locotenentul spuse: Barbati, care dintre voi aveti un bunic care inca este in viata? Nu te grabi sa raspunzi, soldat Taylor!

During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general.
"You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"
"Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' ---that did it!"

In timpul antrenamentului de camuflaj din Louisiana, un soldat deghizat intr-un trunchi de copac, facu o miscare brusca care a fost vazuta de un general care ii vizita. Tu nataraule!! Latra ofiterul. Nu stii ca sarind si urland asa cum ai facut tu, ai fi pus in pericol vietile intregului pluton? Da, d-le, soldatul raspunse, cerandu-si scuze: Dar daca imi permiteti, sa stiti ca am stat nemiscat cand un grup de porumbei m-au folosit pt a trage la tinta. Si nu am miscat un muschi cand un caine mare s-a pisat pe ramurile mai joase. Dar cand doua veverite mi-au urcat pe sub pantaloni, si am auzit-o pe cea mare spunand: Hai sa mancam una acum si sa o pastram pe cealalalta pt la iarna!! - atunci am zis GATA!

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were
clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the
windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back.
The sentry said, “Halt, who goes there?”The chauffeur, a corporal, says, “General Wheeler.”“I’m sorry, I can’t let you through. You’ve got to have a sticker on
the windshield.”The general said, “Drive on!”The sentry said, “Hold it! You really can’t come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker.”The general repeated, “I’m telling you, son, drive on!”The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, “General, I’m new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?”

Un soldat nou in armata era de serviciu la santinela de la poarta principala. Ordinele date ii erau foarte clare: Nicio masina nu avea voie sa intre, cu exceptia acelora care aveau un abtibild pe parbriz. O masina mare de armata sosi la poarta avand pe bancheta din spate un general. Soldatul spuse: Stop! Cine-i acolo acolo? Soferul, un caporal spuse: Generalul Wheeler. Imi pare rau, nu va pot lasa sa treceti. Trebuie sa aveti un abtibild pe parbriz. Generalul spuse: Continua sa mergi! Soldatul spuse: Opreste-te! Chiar nu puteti sa treceti. Am ordine sa trag daca intrati inauntru fara acel abtibild. Generealul repeta apoi . Fiule, iti spun, continua sa mergi! Soldatul se apropie de geamul masinii si spuse: Generale, sunt nou aici. Pe cine trebuie sa impusc? Pe d-vs sau pe sofer?