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A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep poo."

Un baietel merge la tatal sau si il intreaba: Tata, ce este politica?Tatal spune: Ei bine, fiule, hai sa incerc sa-ti explic in felul urmator: Eu sunt cel care aduce painea in casa asta, asa ca hai sa zicem ca eu sunt „capitalismul”. Mama ta este cea care administreaza banii, ii vom spune ‚guvernul”. Noi suntem aici sa avem grija de tine, asa ca tie iti vom spune „poporul”. Pe bona ta o numim” clasa muncitoare”, iar pe fratiorul tau il vom numi „viitorul”. Acum , gandeste-te la asta si incearca sa intelegi. Astfel ca baietelul merge la culcare, gandindu-se la ce i-a povestit tatal sau. Mai tarziu in acea seara, il aude pe fratiorul sau plangand si merge sa-l verifice. Il gasi cu scutecul foarte murdar. Astfel ca baietelul merge in camera parintilor, si o gaseste pe mama lor dormind. Nedorind sa o trezeasca, merge in camera dadacei. Gaseste usa inchisa cu cheia, si se uita prin gaura cheii vazandu-l pe tatal sau in pat cu aceasta. Renunta la tot si merse in pat. A doua zi dimineata, baietelul ii spune tatalui: Tata, cred ca inteleg conceptul de poltitca, acum. Tatal spune: bravo fiule, spune-mi cu cuvintele tale, ce crezi tu ca este politica. Baietelul raspunde: Ei bine, in timp ce capitalismul isi bate joc de clasa muncitoare, guvernul doarme, poporul este ignorat, iar viitorul este intr-un mare rahat!!

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the $100.When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to GOD USA, they decided to send it to President Bush.The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to GOD, which read:Dear GOD,Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those idiots deducted $95.00!

Un baietel is dorea 100 de dolari cu ardoare si se ruga timp de 2 saptamani pt asta si nimic. Apoi se decise sa-I scrie o scrisoare lui D-zeu, cerandu-i cei 100 de dolari. Cand autoritatea  postala primi scrisoarea, adresata lui Dumnezeu SUA, ei decid sa i-o trimita presedintelui Bush. Presedintele fu asa de impresionat, emotionat si amuzat, incat o instrui pe secretara sa, sa-i trimita baietelului o bancnota de 5 dolari. Presedintele Bush se gandi ca vor fi o groaza de bani pt un baietel. Baietelul fu incantat de cei 5 dolari si se puse sa-i scrie o scrisoare de multumire lui D-zeu, care suna in felul urmator: Draga D-zeu, multumesc foarte mult ca mi-ai trimis bani, si am remarcat ca din anumite motive ai trimis scrisoarea prin Washington Dc, si ca de obicei , acei idioti mi-au impozitati restul de 95 de dolari.

There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush supporters.Not really knowing what a Bush supporter is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy--Johnny.The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, "I'm not a Bush supporter."The teacher says, "Why aren't you a Bush supporter?"Johnny says, "I'm a John F. Kerry supporter." The teacher asks why he's a Kerry supporter. The boy says, "Well, my mom's a Kerry supporter, and my Dad's a John Kerry supporter, so I'm a John Kerry supporter!"The teacher is kind of angry, because this is Texas, so she says, "What if you're Mom was a moron, and you're dad was an idiot, what would that make you?"Johnny says, "That would make me a Bush supporter."

O profesoara intr-un orasel din Texas. Isi intreaba clasa, cati dintre ei sunt sustinatori ai lui Bush. Nu prea stiind ce este ala un sustinator al lui Bush, si voind sa fie placuti de profesoara, toti copii au ridicat mana, cu exceptia unuia singur, Johnny. Profesoara il intreaba pe Johnny de ce a ales sa fie diferit? Johnny spune: Eu nu sunt suporterul lui Bush. Profesoara intreaba: De ce nu esti suporterul lui Bush?Johnny spune: Eu sunt suporterul lui John F. Kerry. Profesoara il intreaba de ce este suporterul lui John F. Kerry. Baiatul raspunde: Ei bine, mama este suportera lui John F. Kerry, si tata este suporterul lui John F. Kerry, asa ca si eu sunt suporter a lui John F. Kerry. Profesoara este cam suparata, deoarece aici este Texas, asa ca spune: Ce ar fi daca mama ta ar f o proasta si tatal tau un idiot, atunci tu ce ai fi? Johnny raspunde: atunci as fi un suporter de-al lui Bush.

Why did Senator Hillary Clinton decide to run for office?She'd already been President for 8 years.

De ce senatoarea Hillary Clinton s-a hotarat sa candideze pt presedentie? Ea a fost deja presedinte timp de 8 ani.

A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money." The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States Congressman!" The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!

Un hot implanteaza pistolul in coastele unuia si spune: DA-mi toti banii! Gentlemanul, socat de acest atac neasteptat, spune: nu poti sa-mi faci asta, sunt un congresman al SUA. Hotul spune: In acest caz: DA-mi banii MEI!!

A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, when they came across a badly mangled dead body. As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier. A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to breathe. They ran to him, cradled his bruised head and asked him what had happened. "Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth when I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, 'Saddam Hussein is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash!'" "He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, 'George W. Bush is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash too!'" "We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."

O patrula de soldati americani patrulau granidta cu Iracul, cand au dat de un cadavru sfasiat. Cand s-au apropiat au descoperit ca este a unui soldat irakian. La o distanta nu prea mare, sus pe drum, intr-o rapa, au gasit trupul ciopartit a unui soldat american, care se chinuia sa respire. Au fugit la el, i-au ridicat capul ranit si l-au intrebat ce s-a intamplat: Ei bine, sopti el, mergeam pe drumul acesta, inarmat pana in dinti, cand am dat peste un soldat din garda granitei irakiene. L-am privit direct in ochi si am strigat: 'Saddam Hussein este un gunoi idiot, un sarlatan, un mincinos. Ma privi si el in ochi si-mi striga inapoi: George W. Bush este si el un gunoi idiot, un sarlatan, un mincinos. Apoi ne-am strans mana in partea aia cand un camion ne-a lovit!

Bill Clinton, George Bush and George Washington were on the Titanic. As the boat was sinking, George Washington heroically shouts, ''Save the women!'' George Bush hysterically screeches, ''Screw the women!'' And Bill Clinton's eyes light up and he says, ''Do we have time?''

Bill Clinton, George Bush and George Washington erau pe Titanic. In timp ce vasul se scufunda, George Washington, striga cu eroism: Salavati femeile! George Bush striga isteric: Sa va f**** femeile! Atunci, ochii lui Bill Clinton se luminara si spuse: Chiar avem timp?