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A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying “A dollar per point.” The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $56 change.

Un profesor le dadea un test important elevilor sai. Le imparti toate testele si se intoarse la catedra. Dupa terminarea testului, elevii au pus fiecare lcurarile pe catedra. Profesorul remarca o bancnota de 100 de dolari, atasata de o lucrare, impreuna cu un biletel: Cate un dolar pt fiecare punct. La ora urmatoare, profesorul impartii lucrarile. Elevul cu pricina primi lucrarea inapoi si un rest de 56 de dolari.

Johnny was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. “Well, mum, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. “When he got to the Red Sea he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and saved the Israelites.” “Now, Johnny, is that really what your teacher taught you?” his mother asked. “Well, no, mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it.

Mama il intreaba pe Johnny ce a invatat la Scoala de Duminica: Ei bine, mama, profesorul ne-a spus cum D-zeu l-a trimis pe Moise in spatele liniilor inamice, intr-o misiune de salvare, sa-i conduca pe Israeliti afara din Egipt. Cand a ajuns la Marea Rosie, si-a pus inginerii sa construiasca un pod pe care toata lumea trecu in siguranta. Apoi si-a folosit statia radio, sa ceara intariri de la sediul general. Au trimis bombardiere, sa arunce in aer podul si asa i-au salvat pe Israeliti. Johnny, lucrurile acestea vi le-a spus profesorul? Il intreba mama. Ei bine, nu mama, dar daca ti-as spune cum ne-a invatat el, nu m-ai crede niciodata.

A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.There is, however, one exception. A beautiful girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.“Because I’m not an atheist.”Then, asks the teacher, “What are you?”“I’m a Christian.”The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Christian.“Well, I was brought up knowing and loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, and my dad is a Christian, so I am a Christian.”The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly.“What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?”She paused, and smiled. “Then,” says Lucy, “I’d be an atheist.”

O tanara profesoara, cu vizibile tendinte liberale, explica micutilor ei elevi, faptul ca ea este ateu. Ii intreba daca cumva sunt si ei. Nestiind de fapt ce-i ala un ateu, si dorind sa fie ca si profesoara lor, micutii isi ridicara manutele in aer. Este totusi o exceptie. O fetita frumoasa pe nume Lucy, nu se lua dupa multime. Profesoara o intreaba de ce s-a decis sa fie diferita. Pentru ca nu sunt ateu. Apoi o intreaba profesoara din nou: Tu ce esti? Sunt crestina. Profesoara, putin perturbata, se inrosi. O intreba de ce este crestina. Ei bine, am fost crescuta sa-L cunosc si sa-L iubesc pe Iisus. Mama este crestina, la fel si tata, asa ca sunt si eu. Profesoara s-a infuriat: Asta nu e un motiv, spuse in gura mare. Ce-ar fi fost daca maica-ta ar fi fost o idioata si la fel si taica-tu? Ce ai fi tu atunci? Fetita tacu putin si zambi. Atunci, as fi ateu !

Instead of studying for the last exam of their college careers, four seniors spent the night partying in the house they had rentedoff campus. The next morning they waited until the test would be almost finished, and then made their way to class. Along the way they all put grease on their hands to support the story they were going to tell their professor. The class was almost done with the exam, when all four seniors burst into the room. They report to the professor that they had a flat tyre along the way and could they please retake the test? The professor said that he was a reasonable man, so he scheduled a test date for the following week. Their plan had worked! They studied diligently for the next week, making the most of their time. The day of the make-up came, and they were ready for anything. Each senior was placed alone in a separate classroom for the test. The first question, worth 5 points, was easy. The second question was worth 95 points, and it simply read, “Which tyre?”

Patru studenti in anul terminal, in loc sa invete pt testul final de la facultate, si-au petrecut toata noaptea chefuind in casa pe care o aveau inchiriata in afara campusului. A doua zi dimineata, au asteptat pana cand examenul era pe sfarsite, si apoi au intrat in clasa. Se manjira cu ulei pe maini, pt ca povestea pe care urmau sa o spuna profesorului, sa fie cat mai credibila. Colegii lor aproape ca terminasera examenul, cand ei dadura buzna in sala de examinare. Ii spusera profesorului ca au avut pana la roata in drum spre facultate, si daca ar fi posibil sa reprogrameze examenul. Profesorul fiind un om rezonabil, reprograma examenul pt saptamana viitoare. Planul a functionat! Au fost foarte silitori si au invatat pentru urmatoarea saptamana, avand la dispozitie timp suficient. Sosi si ziua examenului si erau gata pt orice. Fiecare student din cei patru a fost pus in clase diferite pt a da testul. Prima intrebare, pt 5 puncte a fost usoara: a doua intrebare, pt 95 de puncte spunea: Care roata?