Engleza

Traducere

Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours.

- Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour.

As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says:

- Gorgonzola!

- Wait, it is not on yet.

Un cuplu casatorit a cumparat prezervative cu diferite arome. Draga, am sa sting becul, pun un prezervativ si tu va trebui sa-i ghicesti aroma. Imediat ce sotul stinse lumina, sotia o lua in gura si spuse:

- Gorgonzola ! (n.r. specialitate de branza)

- Asteapta!! inca nu mi l-am pus.

What's Bill Clinton's idea of safe sex?
When Hillary is out of town.

Cand este sexul sigur pentru Bill Clinton?

Cand Hillary este plecata din oras.

Two friends:

- Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come?

- Of course! How many people are coming?

- Three, if you bring your girlfriend.

Doi prieteni:

-Diseara am sa organizez un sex in grup la mine in apartament. Vrei sa vii?

- Sigur! Cata lume va veni?

- Trei, daca iti aduci si prietena.

A little boy asked his mother:

- Mummy, why are you white and I am black?

- Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark.

Un baietel o intreaba pe mama-sa:

-Mama, tu de ce esti alba si eu sunt negru?

-Nici macar nu ma intreba, cand ma gandesc ce chef a fost ala.....esti norocos ca nu latri.

An Egyptian man is walking through the Cairo bazaar, when a stranger comes up to him and offers to sell Viagra (illegal in Egypt) for 100 Egyptian pounds.

"No, not worth it!"

"OK, how about 50 Egyptian pounds?"

"No, not worth it!"

"OK, 20?"

"No, not worth it!"

"How about 10?"

"No, not worth it!"

"Listen, these pills cost US $10 each. How can you say they are not worth it?"

"Oh, the pills ARE worth it. My wife is not worth it."

Un egiptean se plimba prin bazar , cand un strain vine la el si ii ofera Viagra (ilegala in Egipt) pt 100 de lire egiptene.

Nu, nu merita!

Ok, atunci 50 de lire egiptene?

Nu, nu merita!

Ok, 20?

Nu, nu merita!

Ce spui de 10?

Nu, nu merita!

Asculta, aceste pastile costa 10 dolari americani bucata. Cum poti spune ca nu se merita?

Oh, pastilele or fi meritand, dar nevasta-mea nu!

A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man bought his wife a $250 see-through nightgown.
Later that night she was getting ready for bed and realized the nightgown was still in the box downstairs. Walking naked through the house, she passed her husband who said, "My Lord, for $250 they could've at least ironed it!"

Un sot si sotia sa, isi aniversau cei 50 de ani de casnicie, asa ca sotul ii cumpara nevestei cu 250 de dolari o camasa de noapte transparenta. Mai tarziu in acea seara, ea se pregati de culcare, cand realiza ca ceea ce primise de la sotul sau, camasuta de noapte, era inca jos in cutie. Umbland goala prin casa, trecu pe langa sotul sau, care spuse: Dumnezeule , pentru 250 e dolari, puteau macar sa ti-o calce putin!

An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?" "Yes, ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"

O batranica intra intr-un sex shop, tremurand toata. D-le,spuse ea cu o voce tremuranda, vindeti vibratoare? Da, d-na. Si sunt cam asa de mari si asa de lungi? intreaba ea cu o voce tremuranda. Da, dna. Si costa 22.95 de dolari?, intreaba tot cu o voce tremuranda. Da, d-na. Si...... cum le opresti?

One man calls emergency:

- Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!

After five minutes, the same man calls back:

-         It is OK, I found another one.

Un barbat suna la urgenta:

-         Veniti repede, baietelul meu a inghitit un prezervativ!

Dupa cinci minute, acelasi barbat suna din nou:

- E ok, am gasit altul.