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A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular check-up. “Any
specific problems you should tell me about?” the doctor asked.“Well, I have noticed lately that if I get even the tiniest cut, it seems to bleed for hours,” she replied. “Do you think I might be a hemophiliac?”“Well,” the doctor answered, “hemophilia is a genetic disorder and it is more often found in men, but it is possible for a woman to be a hemophiliac. Tell me, how much do you lose when you have your period?” the doctor inquired.After calculating for a moment the hooker replied, “Oh, about seven or eight hundred dollars, I guess.”

O prostituata merge la doctor pt un consult obisnuit. Aveti ceva probleme specifice pe care vreti sa mi le spuneti? O intreba doctorul. Ei bine, am observat ca in ultimul timp am tendinta sa sangerez mult, cam cateva ore, chiar si de la o taietura mica, raspunse ea. Credeti ca sunt hemofilica? Ei bine, raspunse doctorul, hemofilia este o boala genetica, si apare mai mult la barbati, dar este intradevar posibil si pt o femeie sa fie hemofilica. Spuneti-mi, cat de mult pierdeti cand sunteti la menstruatie? O intreba doctorul. Dupa ce facu niste calcule, prostituata ii raspunse: Oh, cred ca in jur de 700 sau 800 de dolari!

A dentist ran out of anaesthetic just before the last extraction for the day was scheduled. He gave the nurse a very large needle, instructing her to jab it hard into the patient's butt when the signal was given, so it would take his attention away from the tooth extraction. It all happened in an instant. The nurse, patient, and pliers were in place. The signal was given, and the nurse bayoneted the patient with the needle just as the dentist yanked the tooth.
Afterwards, the dentist asked, "Hurt much?" The patient hesitated, "Didn't hardly feel it come out. And, man, those roots were really deep!

Un stomatolog ramase fara anestezie, chiar inaintea ultimei extractii planificate pe ziua respectiva. Ii dadu asistentei un ac foarte mare, ii facu un instructaj, ca la semnalul sau sa-l infiga in fundul pacientului, astfel ca ii va lua atentia pacientului de la extractie. Totul se patrecu foarte repede. Asistenta, pacientul si clestele erau pregatiti. Semnalul fu dat si asistenta ii infipse pacientului acul chiar in momentul cand dentistul ii scoase dintele. Dupa extractie, dentistul intreba: V-a durut tare? Pacientul spuse cu o oarecare ezitare: Nu am prea simtit nimic, dar omule, radacinile au fost foarte adanci!

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement.
"Listen," says the Doc, "I have migraines too, and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks." Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. "Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!" "Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help." "By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "you have a REALLY nice house."

Un barbat avand o istorie de migrene merge la doctor. Dupa consult, doctorul descopera ca barbatul a incercat toate terapiile cunoscute de doctori pt aceste migrene, si fara niciun rezultat. Asculta, spuse doctorul. Si eu am migrene, iar sfatul pe care ti-l voi da, nu l-am invatat la Facultatea de medicina, ci il stiu din propria mea experienta. Cand am migrene, merg acasa, fac o baie fierbinte, stau la inmuiat o vreme. Apoi o rog pe nevasta-mea sa ma spele cu buretele, in special pe frunte cu cea mai fierbinte apa pe care o pot suporta. Asta ajuta putin. Apoi ies din vana, imi duc sotia in dormitor, si chiar daca am dureri grozitoare de cap, ma fortez sa fac sex cu ea. Aproape intotdeauna, durerea de cap imi trece imediat. Acum, du-te si incearca si tu, si vino inapoi la consult in sase saptamani. Peste sase saptamani, pacientul se intoarce cu un ranjet pe fata. Doctore! Ti-am urmat sfatul si functioneaza! CHIAR FUNCTIONEAZA! Am migrenele de 17 ani si asta e pt prima data cand cineva ma ajuta. Ei bine, spuse doctorul, ma bucur ca te-am putut ajuta. Apropo, doctore, adauga pacientul, aveti o casa FOARTE draguta!!