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Two men are talking. The first says, "I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby clothes." "Amazing," said the second, "I just got divorced for the very same reasons."

Doi barbati discuta. Primul spune: M-am insurat deoarece m-am saturat sa mananc in oras, sa fac curatenie, sa spal si sa umblu in haine jerpelite. Uimitor, spuse cel de-al doilea. Eu tocmai am divortat pt aceleasi motive!

A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor.
"I feel really good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a twenty dollar bill to a bum."
"You gave a bum twenty whole dollars? That's a lot of money to just give away. What did your husband say about it?"
"Oh, he thought it was the proper thing to do. He said, 'Thanks.'"

O femeie statea la povesti cu vecina sa. Ma simt foarte bine azi. Mi-am inceput ziua cu un act altruist de generozitate . Am dat o bancnota de  20 de dolari unui vagabond. Ai dat unui vagabond o intreaga bancnota de 20 de dolari? Sunt multi bani ca sa-i dai numai asa. Sotul tau ce-a zis de asta? Oh, a zis ca e lucrul cel mai intelept. A spus: Merci!

A student engineer in the office got engaged some time ago. At her wedding, I was reminding her of the first day she wore her ring. None of the other women in the office even noticed.
Finally, in sheer and total exasperation, she said "Boy !!! It's so warm in here today, I think I'll take off my ring."

O studenta inginera de la birou s-a logodit cu ceva timp in urma. La nunta sa, i-am adus aminte de prima zi in care a purtat inelul de logodna. Nicio femeie de la birou nu i l-a remarcat. In cele din urma intr-o adevarata disperare, ea spuse: Dumnezeule! Ce cald e aici astazi, cred ca imi voi da jos inelul !

A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Father asked, "Does this fellow have any money ?"
The daughter shook her head sadly. "Oh Daddy ! You men are all alike." sighing deeply, she replied, "That's exactly what he asked me about you.

La cateva momente dupa ce fata isi anunta logodna, tatal o intreaba: Acest baiat are ceva bani? Fata dadu din cap cu tristete: Oh, tata!  Voi barbatii sunteti tot la fel. Suspina adanc si spuse: Exact acelasi lucru m-a intrebat si el!

A couple had been married for 25 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday. During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each. The wife said, "We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.

Un cuplu casatorit de 25 de ani, sarbatoreau cei 60 de ani pe care ii implinea sotul. In timpul petrecerii, aparu o zana, care le spuse ca datorita faptului ca s-au iubit asa de mult, in toti acesti ani, le va implini cate o dorinta fiecaruia. Nevasta spuse: Am fost asa de saraci in toti acesti ani, si nu am apucat sa vad lumea. Mi-as dori sa calatorim in intreaga lume. Zana isi undui mana si POOF! Avea biletele in mana! Urma randul sotului. Tacu pt un moment si spuse: Ei bine, mi-as dori sa fiu casatorit cu o femeie cu 30 de ani mai tanara decat mine. Zana isi undui mana si POOF! Il facu de 90 de ani!