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Glume cu blonde

- Blonde Jokes -

 

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Majoritatea acestor articole sunt preluate din sectiunea de gramatica engleza. Speram ca articolele sa fie pe intelesul dumneavoastra.

Engleza

Traducere

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that he doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

 

O blonda intra intr-un magazin din vecinatate si il intreaba pe vanzator daca poate sa cumpere Tv-ul din colt. Vanzatorul se uita la ea si ii spune ca nu serveste blondele, asa ca merge acasa si isi vopseste parul negru. A doua zi se intoarce la magazin si intreaba acelasi lucru, si, din nou vanzatorul ii spune ca nu serveste blondele.

Frustrata, blonda merge acasa si se vopseste din nou, cu o nuanta de rosu. Spre uimirea ei, vanzatorul ii spune din nou ca nu serveste blondele. Blonda il intreaba pe vanzator: De unde naiba stii ca sunt blonda? Vanzatorul se utia la ea cu dispret si spune: Acela nu este un Tv, este un cuptor cu microunde..!!!

 

A blonde says to a brunette, "Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt."
The brunette says, "Well maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup."

O blonda ii spune unei brunete: Scuzati-ma, dar de fiecare data cand iau o gura din cafeaua mea, ma dor ochii.
Bruneta spune: Ei bine...poate ar trebui sa scoti lingura din ceasca.

There was a Blond and a Brunette on an airplane.

All of a sudden the engine blew and they started to crash!

There was only one parachute and a flashlight.

The Brunette grabbed the parachute and the flashlight and said to the blond, "Ok, This is a magic flashlight, I will shine it on the ground and you can slide down the beam of light! Then I will follow you with the parachute."

The blond looked at her sceptically and said, "Do you think I am that dumb? I know when I am halfway down you're gonna turn it off!"

 

Erau odata, o blonda si o bruneta intr-un avion. Dintr-o data motorul exploda si incepura sa se prabuseasca. Aveau doar o singura parasuta si o lanterna. Bruneta lua parasuta si lanterna si ii spuse blondei: Ok, aceasta este o lanterna magica, o sa luminez pe Pamant, si tu o sa poti sa aluneci in jos pe fasia de lumina! Apoi eu te voi urma cu parasuta. Blonda se uita la ea putin sceptic si spuse: Ma crezi chiar asa de proasta? Stiu ca atunci cand voi fi la jumatatea drumului, imi vei opri lanterna!!!

 

A blonde in Las Vegas goes up to the Coke machine, puts in a dollar, and gets a Coke.

She puts in another dollar and gets another Coke.

She puts in another dollar and gets another Coke.

She puts in another dollar and gets another Coke.

Finally, the man behind her says, “Hey, lady. Do you think I could use the machine?”

She replies, “Fuck off! Can’t you see I’m winning?”

 

O blonda in Las Vegas merge la tonomatul de Coca-Cola, pune un dolar si primeste o Cola. Pune inca un dolar si primeste inca o Cola. Pune inca un dolar si primeste inca o Cola. Pune inca un dolar si primeste inca o Cola. Intr-un final, barbatul din spatele ei spuse: Hei, doamna, as putea sa folosesc si eu tonomatul? La care ea raspunde: Du-te la plimbare! Nu vezi ca eu castig??

 

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

 

Un tanar ventriloc in turneu prin cluburi, face un show intr-o seara intr-un lub mic dintr-un orasel din Arkansas. Cu papusa pe genunchi, isi incepe repertoriul cu bancuri despre blonde, cand o blonda din randul patru, se ridica in picioare pe scaun si incepe sa strige: Am auzit destule bancuri cu blonde de la tine. Ce te face sa crezi ca poti pune in asemenea hal femeile intr-un stereotip? Ce legatura are culoare parului unei persoane , cu valoarea sa ca fiinta umana? Oamenii ca tine, fac femeile ca mine sa nu fie respectate la servici, in comunitate si ne impiedica sa ne atingem potentialul maxim ca persoana, pentru ca tu si cei de seama ta, continua sa perpetueze discriminarea, nu numai impotriva blondelor, dar si a femeilor in general.....si numai pt ..umor!

Ventrilocul rusinat incepe sa-si ceara scuze, cand o blonda incepe sa strige: Tu sa stai deoparte, domnule! Eu vorbesc cu nesimtitul acela de pe genunchiul d-vs!!

 

What do you call a smart blonde?

A Golden Retriever.

 

Care este denumirea unei blonde destepte?

Golden Retriever

 

One day A Blonde girl was running out to check her mail and a neighbor was watching. 5 minutes later she checked it again this happened all through the day till the neighbor went outside and stopped her and asked her why she kept looking in her mail box and her reply was.

"My computer keeps telling me I have mail!"

 

Intr-o zi o fetita blonda fugi afara din casa sa-si verifice posta, fiind vazuta de un vecin. Peste 5 minute verifica din nou posta. Asta s-a intamplat pe tot parcursul zilei pana cand vecinul a mers la ea sa o intrebe de ce face acest lucru, la care fetita i-a raspuns: Computerul meu imi repeta intr-una ca a venit posta!

 

A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!"

The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?"

The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"

 

Casa unei blonde era in flacari. A sunat la 911 si incepu sa strige: Ajutat-ma va rog! Imi arde casa! Grabiti-va!

Operatorul ii spuse: ok, calmati-va, vom ajunge in curand. Cum ajungem la casa d-vs?

La care blonda raspunse: ..In masina aia mare si rosie... Evident!!!

 

A father, mother, and son were going to Europe and were going to visit the nude beaches while they were there.

They didn't want the son to get a distorted view of beauty, so they told him, "The men with really big dicks and the girls with really, really big boobs were both really, really dumb."

When they got to the beach they split up. Later the mother saw the son and asked where his dad was.

The boy said, ''Well, the last time I saw him he was talking to this really, really, dumb blonde and the longer they talked, the dumber he got.''

 

Tata , mama si baietelul mergeau in vizita in Europa si voiau sa viziteze plajele de nudisti. Nu voiau ca baiatul sa primeasca o idee distorsionata a frumusetii, asa ca i-au spus : barbatii cu penisul foarte mare si femeile cu sanii mari, mari de tot, sunt foarte prosti. Cand au ajuns la plaja, s-au despartit. Mai tarziu, mama vazandu-l pe baiat l-a intrebat unde este tatal sau. Baiatul i-a raspuns: Pai, ultima data cand l-am vazut, vorbea cu o blonda foarte, foarte proasta si cu cat vorbeau mai mult, cu atat devenea ma prost si el!

 

 

 Aceste glume (bancuri, poante = jokes) sunt alese din glumele care circula in limba engleza. Pentru o mai buna intelegere a limbii engleze  si o imbunatatire a vocabularului, Academia de Engleza va prezinta si traducerea lor. Aceste glume au fost alese la intamplare.

 

 

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