Glume, poante, bancuri despre celebritati in limba engleza traduse
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Glume despre celebritati

- Celebrity Jokes -


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Majoritatea acestor articole sunt preluate din sectiunea de gramatica engleza. Speram ca articolele sa fie pe intelesul dumneavoastra.



Jennifer Love Hewitt & Jennifer Aniston  were in a parking lot of Hollywood studios trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they just couldn't! Jennifer Aniston stopped for a moment to catch her breath. Jennifer Love Hewitt said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."


Jennifer Love Hewitt & Jennifer Aniston  erau in parcarea de la studiourile Hollywood incercand sa deschida usa Mercedesului lor, cu un umeras. Au incercat  si au incercat sa deschida usa, dar nu au reusit nicicum. Jennifer Aniston s- a oprit sa rasufle pt un moment. Jennifer Love Hewitt a spus nerabdatoare: Grabeste-te!A inceput sa ploua si avem masina decapotabila!!!


Charlize Theron bought a new convertible.One day she was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"

Charlize said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"

The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"


Charlize Theron si-a cumparat o noua decapotabila. Intr-o zi era la volan si se tot abatea de la drum si conducea foarte prost, asa ca a fost oprita de un politist. Politistul s-a apropiat de geamul masinii si a intrebat: D-soara, de ce conduceti asa de nesabuit?

Charlize ii raspunde: Imi pare rau d-le, dar oriunde ma duc, intotdeauna este un copac in fata mea si nu pot scapa de el.

Politistul s-a uitat la ea si i-a spus: Doamna, acela este braduletul odorizant din masina!!


Kate Hudson along with two other blonde friends were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!" The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!" Kate said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!" They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them.


Kate Hudson impreuna cu alte doua prietene blonde erau la plimbare la tara cand au descoperit niste urme ca niste linii. Prima blonda spune: Acelea trebuie sa fie urme de caprioara! A doua blonda spune : Nu, proasto, oricine stie ca acelea sunt urme de iepure! Kate a spus: Nu, proastelor, acelea sunt urme de cal! 10 minute mai tarziu ele inca se mai certau , cand trenul le-a lovit!


Terry Hatcher is trying to get across a river and suddenly she spots Eva Longoria on the other side. She yells over to Eva "Hey, excuse me! How do I get over to the other side?" And after a quick survey of the river, Eva Longoria calls back "You ARE on the other side!


 Terry Hatcher incearca sa treaca de partea cealalta a malului, cand o zareste pe Eva Longoria pe partea cealalta. Ea striga catre Eva: Hei, scuza-ma! Cum pot sa ajung pe partea cealalta? Dupa o scurta analiza a raului, Eva Longoria ii striga inapoi: Tu ESTI deja pe partea cealalta!


The three Charlie's Angels Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, & Lucy Liu were sitting in a doctors office waiting for their pregnancy test results. Lucy Liu said, "If I'm pregnant it will be a girl because I was on the bottom." Cameron Diaz replied,"If I'm pregnant I will have a boy because I was on top." Drew Barrymore stopped, thought a minute and and said, "Then I'm gonna have puppies !"


Cele trei Charlie's Angels Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, & Lucy Liu asteptau la doctor rezultatele testelor de sarcina. Lucy Liu spune: Daca sunt insarcinata, va fi o fetita, deoarece am stat dedesubt. Cameron Diaz ii raspunde: Daca sunt insarcinata, va fi un baietel, deoarece am stat deasupra. Drew Barrymore s-a oprit pt un moment, s-a gandit putin si a zis: Atunci eu voi avea catelusi!


Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton were watching the 6 o'clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. Lindsay turns to the Paris and says, " I bet you $50 the man is going to jump." Paris replies, "Okay you're on." Sure enough, the man jumps, and Paris Hilton gives the Lindsay Lohan $50. Lindsay says, "I can't accept this money. I watched the 5 o'clock news and saw the man jump then." "No, you have to take it," says Paris. "I watched the 5 o'clock news too, but I didn't think he would do it again."


 Lindsay Lohan si Paris Hilton vizionau stirile de la ora 6. Una dintre stiri era despre un barbat care voia sa se arunce de pe un pod. Lindsay se intoarce catre Paris si ii spune: Pun pariu cu tine pe 50 de doalri ca barbatul se va arunca. Paris ii raspunde: Ok, s-a facut! Bineinteles ca barbatul se arunca de pe pod, si Paris Hilton ii da lui Lindsay Lohan 50 de dolari. Lindsay spune: nu pot accepta banii. M-am uitat si la stirile de la ora 5, si am vazut acolo ca barbatul s-a aruncat. Nu, trebuie sa-i iei, spuse Paris. Si eu m-am uitat la stirile de la ora 5, dar nu am crezut ca se va arunca din nou.


Eva Langoria, Britney Spears and  Carmen Electra were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish. Carmen went first. 'I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!' 'Okay,' replied the genie. And off she went. Then Eva Langoria went. 'I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!!' And off she went. Britney started crying and said, 'I wish my friends were backhere!'


Eva Langoria, Britney Spears si Carmen Electra erau de multi multi ani singure pe o insula pustie , pana cand intr-o zi au gasit o lampa magica. Au frecat-o tare si din lampa a iesit un duh. Le-a spus ca le poate indeplini trei dorinte, si din moment ce sunt trei fete, le poate indeplini cate una la fiecare. Carmen a fost prima. Nu-mi place aici. Este prea cald si plictisitor. Vreau sa merg acasa. Ok, i-a raspuns duhul. Si a trimis-o acasa. Apoi a urmat Eva Longoria. Mi-e dor de familie , prieteni si rude. Vreau si eu sa merg acasa. Si duhul a trimis-o acasa. Britney a inceput sa planga si a spus: Mi-as dori ca prietenele mele sa fie aici cu mine!


Arnold Schwarzenegger meets Pamela Anderson at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!"  She begins to drool.Arnold Schwarzenegger drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby?  That''s 1000 pounds ofdynamite!" She is aching for action at this point.Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, Pamela Anderson grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.Arnold catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"


Arnold Schwarzenegger o intalneste pe  Pamela Anderson intr-un bar. Dupa cateva pahare se duc la el acasa. In timp ce se sarutau in dormitor, el se ridica si incepe sa se dezbrace. Dupa ce isi scoate camasa, isi incoarda bicepsii si spune: Vezi asta papusa? Sunt 454 kg de dinamita!!Ea incepe sa saliveze. Arnold Schwarzenegger isi scoate panalonii, se pune intr-o pozitie de bodybuilding si dupa o scurta privire Pamela Anderson isi ia poseta si fuge urland pe usa afara. Arnold o prinde inainte sa apuce sa plece si o intreaba: De ce te gabesti asa de tare sa pleci? Ea ii raspunde: cu 908 kg de dinamita si cu un fitil asa de scurt, mi-a fost frica ca vei exploda!!!


Donald Trump and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: 'I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came
home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine.'His second friend says: 'I think my wife is having an affair with the plummer the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine.'Donald Trump says: 'I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.' Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. 'No I'm serious. The other day I
came home and found a jockey under our bed.


Donald Trump discuta cu doi prieteni la bar. Primul prieten spune : Cred ca nevasta-mea are o aventura cu electricianul. Ieri am venit acasa si am gasit taietoare de cabluri sub patul nostru, care nu sunt ale mele. Al doilea prieten spune: Cred ca nevasta-mea are o aventura cu instalatorul. Am gasit o cheie sub pat care nu e a mea. 'Donald Trump spune: Eu cred ca nevasta-mea are o aventura cu un cal. Amandoi prietenii se uita la el cu o oarecare uimire. Nu, serios. Ziua trecuta am venit acasa si am gasit un jocheu sub patul nostru !



     Aceste glume (bancuri, poante = jokes) sunt alese din glumele care circula in limba engleza. Pentru o mai buna intelegere a limbii engleze  si o imbunatatire a vocabularului, Academia de Engleza va prezinta si traducerea lor. Aceste glume au fost alese la intamplare.


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