Glume, poante, bancuri despre golf in limba engleza traduse | Indians Jokes
    
 
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Glume despre indieni

- Indians Jokes -

 

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Majoritatea acestor articole sunt preluate din sectiunea de gramatica engleza. Speram ca articolele sa fie pe intelesul dumneavoastra.

Engleza

Traducere

This married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come indo my humble shop." So the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel." Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was. The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?" The Pakistani man replied, "Just try dem on, Saiheeb." Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn't seen in many years - raw sexual power. In a blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Pakistani man, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, and ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Pakistani's thighs. The Pakistani then began screaming "YOU HAVE DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!

 

Un cuplu casatorit era in vacanta in Pakistan. Se plimbau prin piata, se uitau la marfuri, cand au trecut pe langa un magazin de sandale. Auzira dinauntru vocea unui gentleman cu un accent pakistanez, spunand: Voi strainilor, poftiti inauntru! Intrati in umilul meu magazin. Astfel ca cei doi  intrasera. D-lul pakistanez le spuse: Am niste sandale speciale, de care cred ca veti fi interesati. Va fac sa fiti salbatici in timp ce faceti sex, ca si o camila mareata a desertului.. Ei bine, nevasta parea chiar interesata in a cumpara sandalele, dupa cele le spuse vanzatorul despre ele, dar sotul sau nu credea ca au nevoie de ele, considerand ca au parte de un sex bun. Sotul il intreaba pe barbat: Cum pot niste sandale sa te transforme intr-un monstru al sexului? Vanzatorul pakistanez ii raspunse: Incearca-le doar! De indata ce le incalta, sotul primi o privire ciudata; ceva ce nevasta-sa nu vazuse de multi ani- cruda putere sexuala. Intr-o clipita, sotul il prinse pe barbatul pakistanez, il apleca violent peste masa, ii trase jos pantalonii, isi rupse si lui pantalonii si il prinse ferm de coapse pe pakistanez. Pakistanezul incepu atunci sa tipe: I-ai luat invers!!!

 

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question which his son translated. "What are these guys in the big suits doing?"
A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.
After the old man recorded his message, they asked the son to translate it. He refused. So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed but refused to translate the elder's message to the moon.
Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government translator. He reported that the moon message said, "Watch out for these guys; they have come to steal your land."

 

Cand NASA se pregatea de proiectul Apollo, au antrenat niste astronauti , intr-o rezervatie indiana din Navajo. Intr-o zi, un batran Navajo si fiul sau erau cu oile la pascut, si s-au intalnit cu echipa de astronauti. Batranul , care vorbea numai Navajo, le puse o intrebare, pe care fiul sau o traduse: Ce fac acesti baieti in acele costume mari? . Un membru al echipajului ii raspunse ca ei se pregatesc pt excursia pe Luna. Batranul se emotiona si intreba daca poate sa trimita un mesaj pe Luna prin intermediul lor. Dupa ce batranul isi inregistra mesajul, il ruga pe baiat sa il traduca. El refuza. Astfel ca reprezentantii de la Nasa , au dus caseta la rezervatie, unde restul tribului a ascultat-o si a ras, dar au refuzat si ei sa traduca mesajul batranului. In cele din urma membrii de la Nasa, au adus un traducator oficial al guvernului. El spuse ca mesajul catre Luna era urmatorul: Aveti grija cu acesti baieti, au venit sa va fure pamantul!!

 

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an Old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain."The next day it rained.A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm."The next day there was a hailstorm."This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio broken."

 

Un echipaj care turna un film era situat in adancul desertului. Intr-o zi un indian mai in varsta, a mers la regizor, si ii spuse: Maine ploaie! A doua zi a plouat. Peste o saptamana, indianul a mers la regisor si i-a spus: Maine furtuna. In ziua urmatoare a fost furtuna mare. Acest indian este incredibil, spuse regizorul. Ii spuse apoi secretarei sa-l angajeze pe indian, pt a le prezice vremea. Totusi, dupa cateva predictii care au fost cu succes, batranul indian, nu mai aparu vreo doua saptamani. Intr-un final regizorul trimise pe cineva dupa el. Trebuie sa filmez o scena mare maine, spuse regizorul, si ma bazez pe tine. Ce vreme va fi?  Indianul ridica din umeri si spuse: Nu stiu!, spuse el, Radiou stricat!

 

A little old Indian woman went into Republic National Bank with a sack full of money. She plopped it onto the desk of the Bank president as she had wrangled her way into his office. He was an Indian man."Where did you get money like this?" he asked her."Well, you see." She answered him. "I make bets.""Bets?" He wanted to know."Yes." She replied. "For instance, I'll bet you 25,000. you are not brown all over. I bet that under your shorts you are white.""The Indian president of the Bank told her, "Well, I will take that bet." "I am brown all over.""Okay," the old lady agreed. "However, tomorrow when we close the bet, I want my attorney with me. He is Indian too."Okay! Okay." The president of the bank was agreeable.When he went home though he double checked to see if he was brown all over. After all 25,000. was at stake.The next day when the little old Indian lady came in with her attorney, the president was ready for her.The little old Indian woman told him. "I am not going to take your word for it. I want to see if you are brown all over."The president thought for a moment and decided since it was, after all, 25,000 he would, indeed, drop his pants to show the little old Indian woman he was brown all over, which he did. He looked over at the Indian attorney who was banging his head against the wall."Why is he doing that?" The president asked.The little old Indian woman answered, "Because I bet him 165,000 that the President of the Republic National Bank would drop his pants for me.

 

 O batranica indianca, intra la banca Nationala a Republicii cu un sac plin de bani. Isi face loc pana in biroul directorului si arunca sacul cu bani pe biroul acestuia. Acesta era indian. De unde ai banii acestia? O intreaba .Ei bine, vezi tu..ii raspunse ea. Pun pariuri. Pariuri? Voia el sa stie.Da, ii raspunse ea. De exemplu, pun pariu cu tine pe 25000 dolari ca nu esti maroniu peste tot. Pun pariu ca pe sub chilotii tai, esti alb. Directorul indian al bancii ii spuse: Ei bine, fac pariu cu tine. Sunt maroniu peste tot. Ok, aproba batranica. Totusi, maine cand vom termina cu pariul, vreau sa-mi aduc si avocatul. Si el este indian.Ok, ok. Directorul bancii era de acord.Cand ajunse acasa, se controla de doua ori sa se convinga ca era maroniu peste tot.Pana la urma erau in joc 25000. A doua zi cand batranica indianca veni la banca impreuna cu avocatul ei, directorul era pregatit. Micuta indianca ii spuse: Nu am de gand sa te cred pe cuvant, vreau sa vad daca esti maroniu peste tot. Directorul se gandi pt un moment, si decise ca din moment ce este vorba de 25000, isi va da pantalonii jos, sa-i arate indiancei ca este maroniu peste tot, ceea ce si facu. Se uita apoi la avocatul indian, care isi dadea cu capul de perete. De ce face asta? Intreba directorul. Batranica indianca ii raspunse: Pentru ca am pus pariu cu el pe 165000 ca am sa-l fac pe presedintele bancii Nationale a Republicii sa-si scoata pantalonii in fata mea.

 

One Sunday, sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 220 MPH.He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.Approaching the car, he notices that there are five little old Indian ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back - wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! I always go exactly the speed limit. What seems to be the problem?""Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.""Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly! Twenty-two miles an hour!" the old Indian woman says a bit proudly.The Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error."But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask . . . Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks with concern."Oh, they'll be all right, officer. We just got off Route 119."

 

Intr-o duminica, un ofiter de politie, statea pe marginea autostrazii cu radarul cand vede o masina care mergea cu 22 mile/ora. Politistul se gandeste: Acest sofer este la fel de periculos ca si un vitezoman. Asa ca isi pune in functiune girofarul si trage pe dreapa soferul. Apropiindu-se de msina, vede 5 micute indience mai in varsta – doua in fata si trei in spate. – cu ochii cat cepele si albe ca varul. Soferita, evident confuza, ii spune: D-le politist, nu inteleg, aveam exact viteza legala. Tot timpul respect viteza legala. Care este problema? Doamna, raspunde politistul, nu mergeati cu viteza, dar ar trebui sa stiti ca daca circulati cu o viteza mai mica decat este indicat, puteti fi un adevarat pericol pt ceilalti participanti la trafic. Mai incet decat viteza legala?? Nu, d-le mergeam exact cu viteza legala. 22 de mile/ ora., spuse batranica indianca cu mandrie. Politistul ii explica chicotind, ca 22 este numarul autostrazii si nu a vitezei maxime admise. Putin rusinata, femeia zambi si ii multumi politistului ca ii aratase greseala. Dar inainte sa va las sa plecati, trebuie sa va intreb doamna: Toata lumea din aceasta masina este in regula? Aceste femei par scuturate din calea afara si nu au scos nici macar un murmur  in tot acest timp, intreba ingrijorat politistul. Oh, vor fi bine d-le politist. Tocmai ce am iesit de pe autostrata 119.

 

Three friends who, after graduating from college, were meeting for the first time in years. They each had gone back to their native cities of Jullundhar, Bombay, and Calcutta.The man from Bombay wanted to impress his two other friends with the medical expertise in Bombay so he stated: "I know of a doctor in Bombay who joined a severed arm with special glue." Not to be outdone, the friend from Calcutta said: "That's nothing. One of the doctors in Calcutta recently rejoined someone's head with a special ointment." "We have gone EVEN further," proclaimed the man from Jullundhar. "One of my uncles was cut into two right around the navel. Our doctor immediately slaughtered a goat and joined its rear half to my uncle's upper half. So we have my uncle as well as two liters of milk everyday."

 

Trei prieteni se intalnesc dupa ani buni de la terminarea facultatii. Fiecare dintre ei s-au intors in orasul natal Jullundhar, Bombay, si Calcutta. Barbatul din Bombay dorea sa-i impresioneze pe ceilalti doi cu expertizele medicale din Bombey , asa ca spuse: Stiu un doctor in Bombay care a alipit un brat grav distrus cu lipici special.Nu vreau sa te intrec , prietenul din Calcutta spuse: Asta nu-i nimic. Unul dintre medicii din Calcutta, a lipit recent capul cuiva cu o alifie speciala. Noi am ajuns chiar mai DEPARTE! Spuse barbatul din  Jullundhar. Unul dintre unchii mei a fost taiat in doua chiar in jurul buricului. Doctorul nostru imediat a omorat o capra si a unit spatele acesteia cu jumatatea de sus a unchiului meu. Asa ca il avem atat pe unchiul meu cat si 2 l de lapte in fiecare zi.

 

 

     Aceste glume (bancuri, poante = jokes) sunt alese din glumele care circula in limba engleza. Pentru o mai buna intelegere a limbii engleze  si o imbunatatire a vocabularului, Academia de Engleza va prezinta si traducerea lor. Aceste glume au fost alese la intamplare.

 

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